Earplugs at the ready

If you had to sit in a room with fifteen other people of roughly similar ages, what kind of amusements would you suggest to entertain you all? Bear in mind you are probably pretty immobile and don't have that much energy and have nothing in common with the majority of people in the room. It's quite difficult, isn't it?

Mum (88) lives in an elderly people's residential home and occasionally they get entertainers. According to my mum some are good, some OK and some just plain awful. Some are so bad she has her own ear plugs at the ready to block out the noise. Now it has to be said that mum would only be truly happy if the Brighouse and Rastrick Brass Band came marching into the residents' lounge or if 'Songs of Praise' came knocking on the door. Hallelujah! She is quite a demanding customer. But there again why should everyone like the same thing?

We popped in last Sunday to see mum. She was overjoyed to see us. Very overjoyed. We had come just in the nick of time to rescue her from the organ player, quite a sweet old bloke who in my mum's words "goes on and on". He did seem pretty bad. Mind you, Peggy who sits next to mum seemed to be really enjoying his tunes. Again in a room full of fifteen people you aren't going to please everyone.

It got me thinking. The government is worried about how it and we will pay for care for the elderly in the future. My main worry is not how will I pay for my residential care but how I will be entertained. What will I have to endure when I'm 88. I ain't going to be happy with a refrain of "It's a long way to Tipperary" or endless Elvis numbers (good as they can be) or a dirge on the organ. The entertainers who come seem to take their tunes from a songbook dated circa 1930 to 1959. I want Elvis Costello not Presley and a little John Martyn with some Emelie Sande thrown in and some Paloma Faith to cheer me up and keep me young. Seriously it won't be long before people born in the late 1940s will be the unlucky ones in residential care and I have no evidence at the moment that the entertainers are knocking out the Rolling Stones or The Who.

Perhaps in the future entertainment will be much more sophisticated or perhaps we will be much more tech savvy. We will tune into our ipods and watch the TV on our laptops or whatever the equivalent is in the future.  But I am a tad worried that I will have to sit there listening to Kylie Minogue and Steps and endless Abba impersonators. Now a little Kylie is great and Abba is just superb although I draw the line at Steps but endless renditions and probably poor ones at that sounds very unappealing. Still it'll all be OK - my 5 year old daughter has said she will come visit me. Perhaps she'll come in the nick of time and take me away.

Cinderella at the Italian

Well, it's started already here at 88....my daughter (all of 5 years old) has borrowed my stuff to go out in. We went for an Italian meal last night en famille as a treat. H wore her beautiful ballerina dress with sparkly shoes and of course had to borrow mummy's sparkly bag to go with it. What do you put in your bag though when you're 5 years old? No mobile, no money, no make-up, no diary. The answer: two little bottles of perfume ....well you never know when you might smell....and some tissues. You might even offer a slap of scent to your brother (C) if you think he could do with freshening up.

It was a lovely evening. Two children old enough now to stay seated. Our son can even read the menu now although the Italian did prove a tad difficult for both adults and child alike. In fact the only person to misbehave was dad who forgot a pen so we couldn't play hangman. Shock horror..we had to make conversation. Grazie!

P.S. The photo makes it look like Cinderella had to leave the restaurant in a hurry and leave her slippers and bag on the grass and run.....I'm sure David did pay the bill??

Warning:Older People at Large!

About ten years ago I was stuck in traffic with my mum. We crawled passed one of those triangular road signs, bordered in warning red, which has an elderly couple in black profile. Both figures are hunched over and the poor bloke has a stick with the woman clearly holding on for dear life. It's often got 'elderly people' written underneath. It's a warning sign that old folks are lurking and presumably may crawl out in front of your car.

My mum was technically old at the time in her seventies and neither did she have curvature of the spine nor walk with a stick. Nor did she have a bald head but that's probably taking the sign too literally. She objected to the depiction of older people as decrepit and slow, both in physical movement and perhaps by association even in brain function. She was an active walker, gardener, interested grandparent and generally alive and intelligent person. Why should older people be singled out?

She's now 88 and can hardly walk and in fact has a zimmer frame but I bet if I asked her she'd still object to older people being depicted as hunch-backed slowcoaches. She may take a while to get from A to B but she still sits upright in her wheelchair, alert and interested in the world and oh yes has wonderful thick white silky hair.

Handmade Histories 3: small linen bag

Small linen bag (Fruitique:Sonya)

E is 6 years old and was given the little linen bag for her last birthday by us at 88. She keeps in her bag the following:

ipod touch (pink) - lots of Abba but favourite at the moment 'Chasing the Sun' by the Wanted ( I am so not in touch with music these days I had to google The Wanted  - so unhip of me!).
notepad and pen which she uses to write lyrics down.
'grown up purse' from Asda with a zip for coins..very important the zip.
one ten pound note and two twenty pound notes (Christmas money) folded very precisely into squares.



E has to be careful where she leaves her lovely bag as she has a sweet but very curious two year old sister who would dearly love to grab her bag, empty it, examine all enclosed, then lose all enclosed. If the bag isn't with E, she keeps it high up on top of the piano and at night takes it to bed with her on the top bunk, far away from the sticky fingers of a much adored but prying loved one.

PS Not only is Sonya Fruitique a talented designer of all wares sewn, she's a wonderful photographer (her bread and butter business) - many thanks to her for the above bag photo.

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