I have two secret ambitions. I know they will never be fulfilled. I would just love to have a go though. I would love to read the football results out on a Saturday afternoon and I would adore it if the BBC asked me to read the Shipping Forecast. Actually perhaps my time is near. James Alexander Gordon who has read the classified football results on a Saturday for eons has retired. Now is my time.
I have no interest in football but it's a dear memory of childhood listening to the rhythmic beat of the announcer reading out all the football results as my brothers listened attentively for the score for Leeds Utd. There was comfort in the methodical singsong. A slight downward inflection for the loser and a tad cheery lilt for the victor. The names were great too especially the Scottish ones. Partick Thistle, Stenhousemuir and Queen of the South. I often thought as a little girl that I quite fancied being queen of the south for the day.
Partick Thistle 1: Queen of the South 1 - apologies if I have the leagues mixed up there. Leeds Utd 27 : Manchester Utd 0 - one there for my brothers! Sorry, David! It's how matter of fact the announcer had to be enunciating with authority and certainty but putting the slightest undulation in the score to keep it interesting and never monotonous.
The shipping forecast is the same. Fabulous names: North Utsire, South Utsire, German Bight, Shannon, Rockall, Malin. The announcer has to be precise, no mistakes, clear as clear can be: lives depend upon it. As a non sailor I have absolutely no idea what it all means but it's music by words. I think it's all about wind direction and visibility and I don't know what but it sounds important and crucial and just a bit mysterious.
I'd be good at either. Perhaps the BBC will come knocking!
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